Friendly Mails



Dear Reader,
On here I want you to share with me some interesting and funny stuff I receive in friendly emails now and then from friends all over the world, sometimes I even translate them into German. Enjoy, let me know what you think or send me some of your favourite links, please.
I hereby declare not being responsible for the contents of any links.
 

Liebe Leserin, lieber Leser!
Auf dieser Seite zeige ich von Freunden aus der ganzen Welt -meist in Englisch - erhaltene E-mails die zum Schmunzeln oder Staunen anregen sollen. Ich freue mich über jede Zusendung, erkläre mich aber nicht verantwortlich für den Inhalt oder die Funktion eines Links.
 

Caro Lettore/Lettrice,
Su questa pagina voglio farti vedere delle cose buffe o interessanti che ricevo ogni tanto nella mia Posta degli Amici. Qualche volta traduco ciò che ricevo perfino in Tedesco. Divertiti, fammi sapere cosa ne pensi oppure segnalami per favore i tuoi siti preferiti. Con la presente declino qualsiasi responsabilità per i contenuti dei siti segnalati.
 



Today's Liz Special

February 28, 2010

Commercial airplane
A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.
The blonde woman replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."
After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.
The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."
The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.
"I told her first class isn't going to Chicago."  


Flight from Austria


A distinguished young woman on a flight from Austria asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"


"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair remover that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

Examination paper


In the examination paper, the professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.

The professor carefully studied the answer script and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."  







Baroque (adj.): When you are out of Monet. 



Wedding night

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly $1 million.

Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million. She explained that she had 'charged' him for sex, and these were the results of her savings and investments. The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you.'
That's when she shot him!" You know, that's what happens when you don't know when to keep your mouth shut!



THANKS to Ruthie/USA for this amazing picture - it reminds me of Arizona ...

 


"Maukie" 4u